It was actually twice this week. In the last 30 days maybe five times. It happens so fast. I intently watch my steps, try to 100% of the time but sometimes I get distracted or it is dark and I trip either over my own feet by crossing over or because of spastic foot going down and into the ground involuntarily, sometimes the weaker foot goes down to the side and I fall to the side. And then there is drop foot effect where the toe actually rolls over downward forwards and makes me go forward at a pretty accelerated pace until I hit the ground and land on one of my knees. The worst of course was falling backwards landing on head or neck, after sitting for a while and that was the last time I went to the trauma unit with a cracked skull or fortunately just an mtbi this time.
So anyway back to 2023, I’m scared and they say if you’re scared sometimes effect from spasticity can even get worse. I realize it’s only March and there is an effect from the winter months that is detrimental to many things especially when you were getting older and you have more things more conditions to worry about. Everywinter, I question whether I can go on even more but never giving up summer is around the corner and temperatures will skyrocket soon. It is amazing more energy more hours to work out daily and a safer environment.
I have no one to talk to except for a doctor when I see one about things that are going wrong. No one my age not even my siblings want to hear about any issues I have at all. If I do mention something all I get is that they have something that’s probably even worse and then they start telling me about their pain and their treatment or whatever they have to go through. It kind of makes me feel like they’re telling me that My issue is no big thing just get on with your life. They have to deal with some issues and they’re not bothered by it so stop whining to me. Well I said that but no one’s listening.
